Not Since High School...

... have I had a fire drill. Until yesterday.

I didn't even know they had fire drills in college. Learn something new everyday.

It made me want one of these:

Guess What!

No, despite what the picture may lead you to believe, sadly these two are not engaged. BUT, what's the next best thing to Elton John and Billy Joel actually getting married? The correct answer is the two having a love-child in the form of a concert. And guess who's going to make out with/attend said love-child. I'll give you a hint: her name starts with a "Brook" and ends with an "e". That's right! I am going to see the Piano Man AND the Rocket Man together. LIVE. I simply cannot wait. Here's a little taste of what I'm going to be stuffed off of come November 20th:

Feel free to be morbidly jealous.

Olive Branch

Last week, I walked through the warm summer air and into a building. Two hours later I stepped out of that building and into a crisp gust of fall. It changed. Just like that! (I wish there was an onomatopoeia for snapping your fingers.) For those of you who don't know me because you've randomly stumbled onto my blog or because you are poor stalkers,
you won't know the impact that this change had on me. So, I'll spell it out for you: I hate cold.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

And with that new air, that air that just has a certain heaviness to it, the air that's charged with the power to sting when it feels so inclined, with that air, I knew summer was officially gone, and it could only go down from here (both figuratively and on the thermometer). So, I did what was only natural; I went into mourning. Had I been fortunate enough to have this on hand,

I would have donned it and traipsed around wailing and weeping. Or if it hadn't been so dreadful a thought to go outside for a couple hours, I would have held a candlelight vigil.

Instead, I did the next best/productive thing and went and took an angry nap for a couple hours.(Thank you, Arrested Development.)

Then today, after spending a week alternating between angry naps, dreadful mumblings of knowing what's coming and watching the Godfather Trilogy to try and lighten my spirits,

I realized something. I realized that the cold is inevitable. I've been in a war with Cold for years now, and I'm only winning half the time. Cold's going to invade every September no matter how much I whine or complain, no matter how much I hate it. And no matter how much I fight it, it's not leaving till March. So, here it is, my new goal: to not fight the cold, to not hate it. After all, it's only business, it's nothing personal. I'm not going to say that I will for sure like the cold, that goal may be a little too lofty for me this year. But eventually, I'd like to like it. For now, I'm going to try and accept the change as it comes, and not get mad at it, but instead, welcome it when it comes knocking, and ask it to come inside and share some hot chocolate with me by the fire. Who knows, maybe Fall and her friend, Winter, will be really good at crossword puzzles, or have a love for Elvis tunes or something. We just might be able to form a friendship through all of this. Hopefully we can. But if we can't, I'll still open up my arms to it with a smile and a kiss, cause if this is war, I've got to keep my friends close, but my enemies closer...

plus, I'm a little tired of being grumpy.

The Drunk and the DeGeneres?

I was very upset to hear that "The Drunk" as Nina likes to call her is not renewing her contract with American Idol.

Even though I agree that she's crazy, has no credibility, an awful vocabulary and claps like a seal, she's been on there for so long that I've come to a love/hate relationship with her and I can't imagine the show without her. And, even though I knew it was her fault for not taking the contract because she wanted more money, I was still set on not watching this next season because I knew it wouldn't be the same.

But now that I know who her replacement is going to be, I'm ecstatic that it won't be the same; it's going to be better.

Here,I'll let Ellen tell you all about it:

Hurray! I can't wait! I loved her on So You Think You Can Dance and think she'll be great on Idol. Speaking of So You Think You Can Dance, here she is reunited and dancing with the Season 5 cast.

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Thank you, Paula, for being a money-loving booze-hound. I'll miss you... but not that much.

Mister Mystery

Thank goodness I'm not married.

I mean, I'm sure marriage is great and all, but it's a good thing that I personally am single at this point in my life.

I say this because I've been looking back at all of my relationships that I've had, and while a lot of them have been great, they've all ended (obviously, there's only going to be one relationship that doesn't actually end). At the time of break-up I'm usually pretty sad, regardless of whether I ended it or not. But now I'm so happy that I didn't end up with a lot of those guys. Not that those guys aren't great. But they weren't the perfect fit for me. And I know that there will be someone, somewhere, who is. The more I date people, the more I know what I'm looking for in a companion. ( Jimmy had this that I liked and that that I didn't like. And Bobby had this that I loved and that that I hated.) And because I'm learning more and more what does and doesn't fly for me, I'm becoming more and more grateful that certain relationships didn't work out. (Does that sound harsh? I don't mean it to.) I'm grateful they happened though because they taught me a lot and they're helping me narrow down/lengthen my "Things to Look for in a Potential Husband" List. I'm getting a clearer picture of him all the time. Of course that picture is figurative. Though a literal picture would be nice.

The one downfall of this constant learning experience I call dating is that the more I know what I want my "Mister Mystery" to be like, the less likely it seems that I'll find someone with all those qualities. In short, I'm getting pickier. But picky is a good thing, right? Right. I can be patient. He'll come along eventually...

...In the mean time, I've taken to dating celebrities. You know, just to fill my calendar up a little bit while I'm waiting. Afterall, no one ever said being patient means you have to be lonely, did they? Here's a couple pictures of my most recent flings.

Me and Zac. Young love is the purest love.

Edward/Robert just can't get enough of me.

Justin. The great thing about dating a Momma's Boy is the fact that he knows how to treat a lady.

Look at the bling Gerard gave me. Too bad he's not LDS.

This one time, Ryan made me laugh so hard I peed my pants. Luckily we were in a hot tub at the time.

Sorry for the immodesty. James picked out the dress.

Oh, Brad! I love the way he looks at me. It's like I'm the only girl in the world.

When we're driving together, Daniel likes to show off and drive really, really fast. I like it cause it gives me an excuse to grab on to his bulging biceps.

Johnny and I back when I had bangs. Just look at him! Gorgeous.

RIP MJ.

And now, for the one guy that I would never, ever, EVER have broken up with. The world just came between us. Well, the world and a bunch of Fried Peanut-Butter and Banana sandwiches. Here he is, the first and foremost love of my life.

Elvis and I on our first date.

Engagement pictures.

The best day of our lives. Until we meet again, My Love!

"Butter to My Bread"

"You are the butter to my bread, the breath of my life. I love you, you darling woman." -Stanley Tucci/Paul Child

Ok. Somebody please find me a younger, less-bald, real-life, LDS version of Stanley Tucci as Paul Child. Please? He was the most wonderful husband: the way he let her be exactly who she wanted to be, and appreciated her all the more for it. He adored her. And she felt the exact same way about him. The love that he and Meryl Streep/Julia Child had for each other is enough to make anyone believe that Love really can conquer all. Gosh.
Julie & Julia was great, but Stanley/Paul was the star for me (with an honorable mention going to Julie's husband, Chris Messina/Eric Powell).Where do you find men like that nowadays? If anyone knows, please let me in on the secret. I'm sure my Grandma Bonnie and her children and their children and my adorable(?) children that he and I have will be eternally grateful.

ANOTHER Hero Comes Along: A Letter to Jackie

Dearest Jackie,
While you can never be replaced as my hero (WWJD will always be my motivation to be BA), I've realized that there will be people (possibly animals, seeing as you're an animal, though it's highly unlikely) who will be able to join your ranks and stand next to you (probably more accurate is "close behind you") in the supersquad that is going to be my own, personalized Justice League.

I know you're wondering who in the world could come close to matching you in coolness and bravery and awe-power. Let me explain: There once was a man(?) named Michael Jackson. He passed away a few months ago, and in the mourning process I've purchased literature about him and his family. Michael has a brother named Jermaine ("Where are you going with this?" You may be asking, hold on just a little bit longer, my one-legged, war-decorated primate.). While Jermaine never produced work that was praised the way his whiter brother's was, he did give the world one thing that is worthy of attention. It's actually worthy of a lot more than attention. It, or HE, I should say, is Jermaine's son. I'm not going to go into great detail about his son, because there is only one detail that we need to know about this boy who will help you protect and even change the world. That key detail is this boy's name. Are you ready for it? His name is

Jermajesty(Here he is pictured with Jermaine-the-Genius)

Knowing your intelligence and appreciation for all things wonderful, I am confident that you agree with me in thinking that this boy is special and should become the official second member of my team of heroes. I hope everything is well for you. Things are great here. Warm Regards!
-Brooke