Out of Everyone I know, OF COURSE I...

... would get Swine Flu. And here's how I got it:
Just joking... that's how the baby I made out with got it.... JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING. (I know that was crossing the line, but for some reason I couldn't stop myself. Please feel free to reprimand me with comments all you want.) Here, here's a better joke with a little more taste (though if my mom knew who was mentioned in it she would have to disagree): They said pigs would fly before a black man became president. 100 days into Obama's presidency: Swine Flu.

But seriously, I do have Swine Flu. And yes, it sucks. But no, I'm not dying. If you want the story on how I got it/found out I had it, continue reading. If you don't want the whole story, just skip this next long paragraph.

So, I hadn't been feeling all myself on Wednesday, but I didn't think too much of it because I'd been staying up late for school assignments and stuff like that. Thursday I was in a rush to get all of my work done for the whole weekend because my friends and I planned on leaving Thursday night for Kiera's cabin to go on a treasure hunt after some gold her great-grandpa supposedly buried years ago. As many of you might know, being a pirate is only one of my dreams. So, needless to say, I was very excited to get to wear one of these and look for some of this.
But, that isn't the way things quite worked out. Midway through my poetry class (last class of the day) I was shaking like a phone on vibrate; I had a fever that was awful. I raced home with thoughts of only my bed on my mind. I met Whitney and Andy at the door to my house and sadly but swiftly canceled on the cabin and headed straight for a hoodie and some thermals, jumped under as many blankets as I could find, and buckled down for a rough night. The fever was bad but there was also coughing and a bad headache and severe joint pain and odd burning around my eyes. I ended up sleeping on the ground for a while with a bunch of pillows propped under my knees to take pressure off my lower back and knees cause they were hurting so much. And I slept with a cold wash-cloth over my eyes because they were burning so much. When my fever still hadn't broken by midday on Friday (more than 24 hours after I got it), I called my mom and asked her if she thought it was possible that I had Swine Flu. I knew it sounded crazy and over-cautious of me, but this flu just felt worse than any other flu I'd ever felt. She didn't think I had it, but she said it wouldn't hurt to go check. When I told her I didn't think I could even drive myself the five minutes it takes to get to the clinic, she said that I for sure needed to get there if I was feeling that bad. I ended up being able to drive myself. And, after tons of waiting, some blood test and them swabbing the back of my throat and the inside of my nose (gross, I know) with like six-inch long Q-tips, and more waiting and me wanting to shoot myself in the face for not bringing a blanket with me, the doctor finally told me that "the evidence is staggering": I have Swine Flu. So, they handed me a bunch of masks and told me not to touch things that other people will be touching and sent me on my way. Ok, that's not entirely true. They told me a couple more things, but that's how it felt.

So, I had it confirmed that I was contaminated; now began the quarantine. I called my mom and started crying a little because I was scared and she (being the amazing mom that she is) booked a flight for as soon as she could get away and was with me later that night. My grandpa picked her up from the airport and dropped her off at my place and gave me a sweet and beautiful blessing and then headed back to Salt Lake where I couldn't get him sick. Which is a very good thing because I love my grandpa very much and would hate myself if I got him sick. The next morning my mom and I moved in to the Provo Marriott where we've been ever since. I was told I'd be contagious for a week from the day I first got sick, so I'll be a leper till Thursday (just in time for all the final projects to be over with and Finals to begin). Do to my untouchable status and do to the fact that I'm still sick, all I do is sleep and look like Shredder.
See the resemblance?
Ok, maybe not. But I feel like him, which is cool.

If you look at it the right way, Swine Flu is a pretty fair replacement for missing out on being a Pirate.