Thursday, November 5, 2009

How to Kiss

So, my lovely sisses (is the plural of "sis" sisses? Derek thinks it's "seese" as in geese. Not sure.)
(minus Nina thankfully) told me to look up "How to Kiss", not because I don't know how, I OBVIOUSLY do, but because it was supposedly really funny.

I did. And it is really funny. And by "funny" I mean awkward.

I always think it's awkward when people voice something that is supposed to be unspoken. You know, the things that everyone knows or learns on their own and don't ever really talk about out loud. It's just weird. It's like talking about... nevermind. I was going to talk about something, but that would be turning myself into a hypocrite. And "I don't wanna be a hypocrite cause they're not hip with it." (Shout out to Joanne Craft and Faith Lutheran.)

So, here's some of my favorite excerpts:

  • Exfoliate your lips with sugar to make them soft . You never want your lips hard.
  • Relax your lips by parting them ever so slightly.
  • Look at their lips. Make eye contact and then move your gaze briefly down to the person's lips. Then move your eyes back up to meet theirs and smile demurely. You don't have to be really obvious about it. Many people will take the hint, especially if they've read one of the many articles that lists this as a sign that a person wants to kiss or be kissed.
  • Kiss your partner's upper or lower lip again, but this time part your lips so that their lip goes between yours. Apply a little bit of pressure closing your lips as you pull away. You can practice on the length of your finger to get an idea for how much pressure to apply. You can also gently pinch one of your lips between your index finger and thumb to see how it feels to have someone kiss you in this way.

  • Ok, ok. I'll stop. I'm feeling a little sick. Oh, and Paige,
    this is for you: How to Kiss with Braces.


    Libby Ipson said...

    I would have to agree and say that you are an amazing kisser....

    Paige Nelson said...

    I'm really pretty.

    Paige Nelson said...

    ...and i hate you.