Tuesday, December 8, 2009

High Blood Pressure

Dear Jewish guy,
white guy,
And especially white lady:
I don't know how to say this without making things really awkward... so get ready. When you are working with a patient, about to take his/her (especially MY) blood pressure, please think before you squeeze. It puts the patient in a very uncomfortable situation when you grab her arm, turn it palm up, wrap a pressure gauge around it so that the arm can't move and then take a step forward, ramming your crotch into her open hand. I mean, you must take at least fifteen different people's blood pressure everyday and you still haven't figured out that you can get close enough to listen to a person's pulse in many different ways, with only one or two of those ways being inappropriate?

I have an idea. Let's make a resolution right here, right now, to never shove our crotches in other people's hands ever again, ok? Ok.

Phew. I feel better. Oh yeah, and could you please relay this message to your friends and fellow nurses at the BYU Health Center? I would GREATLY appreciate it. For some reason every one of their nurses has the same bad habit that you three have. Wow. I'm glad we got that out of the way. Thanks again!


P.S.- If there is failure to execute the aforementioned plan, you can expect to hear from Jackie, Jermajesty and the rest of my Justice League.

1 comment:

Paige Nelson said...

I'm your only friend and proud. of. it. "Pooped my pants and proud of it! 50 years old and I pooped my pants."